I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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