If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
two words...techno handjob
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
