I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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