I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
