spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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