ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
50% drunk capacity currently
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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