Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
