I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
