you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
