dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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