even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Boobs speak an international language.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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