i just had sex bonerless
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
