the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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