dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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