I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
