My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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