office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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