i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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