U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
