We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
