my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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