I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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