There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
