I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
