If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize