I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
