Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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