I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
