Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
