I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
