IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
