dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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