We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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