so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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