the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
