You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
