there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
