they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
