Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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