"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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