That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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