My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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