The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
