I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
