Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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