and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
