i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
