zippers are such a cool invention
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
