Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
