I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize