i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
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the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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