i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
