This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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