my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize