We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My cat gives me a boner
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
