i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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