Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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