I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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