Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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