Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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