I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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