i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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